Drum Major Instinct - Trotman Riddim

To one of the best brothers. EVER.

So,

 I sit here filled with disbelief

I want to cry

But then that would mean consent

Agreement that you’re gone

I remember the day I first saw you

You were all decked out in that Drumline uniform

Orientation 2007 : 8^th session

Something about you stood out

I knew I had to get to know you

A handsome young man

Tall and proud

A man who grew to develop his own Drum Major Instinct     

From the blessings God gave you

Fast forward to our first summer here at BU,

That’s when we really connected

Found common ground

It was a zing-zap-ba-dush-dush-dush kind of ting

Over your mom’s home cooking

To music of all kinds

Whining and dancing the days away

We would chit chat about all things

From Barbados to Ghana and beyond

To naming your children Ashanti day names

And you taking me to Carnival

Our almost daily snack of Honey Buns

You with Grape Soda and Me, A Nantucket Nectar

The days of ‘Annie’

Jamming to Amy Winehouse and Alicia Keys

Drumming to Reckless Love and I Need You

Oh how I need you to come back

Right Now and take this pain away

They’re falling now.

Clouding up my vision

Wetting everything around me

These tears won’t stop

I need to get dehydrated soon

Or else I may not stop

We vibed to each other’s drum beat

Our souls were in phase

It was that connection we just spoke of two weekends ago

You began to call me Kwakyi

And I called you Trotman

You had my back

And I had yours

We made plans for our future

Broski and Sis

Boy were the grand!

If there was someone I could turn to at any hour

It was you

I was assured of my hug

And my ‘Everything good? Or How’re you doing sis?’

Where am I going to get my hugs from broski?

Sophomore year, Physics After Hours in your suite

You insisted and walked me back to Warren from 1019

Round 4 AM ‘cause I was too broke to cab it

And BU shuttle had shut down for the night

(Those were the days before cabs in BOS took swipes)

Then I knew

You were definitely heaven sent, an angel

A special one from God to me

I treasured you  

You treasured me

We treasured we

Our kinship was meant to be

If there was anyone who I could count on to sacrifice for me

It was you

You selflessly played that drum beat for others

To make them laugh

Cheer them up

Soothe their pains

Cause them to smile

Allay their fears

Send them on their way

Encourage them to achieve their dreams

Start up their own drum beat

You never tired of giving

Loving, Caring, Helping

You always stood for a worthy cause

I ask myself this sad and painful question

Why am I already writing another long epic sad piece

To say goodbye to another brother?

When you were one of the few I turned to beginning of the year

To help me deal with that loss.

And to think I last saw you on that other brother’s birthday.

C’mon Son!

I never expected this

C’mon Son

Who wants to deal with this

C’mon Son

Come back to us

We would yell and sing

From the highest of all peaks

If our words and prayers

Could bring you back to us

Death be not proud as you think you ought

Every moment spent with you

Golden. Priceless.

There are no words to describe all the memories

My mind is replaying

The good, the bad

Happy and Sad

I remember that Bajan flag buckle and belt you had

Your smile

That shirt: BU Student with a NY Swagger

Your waves, those Dolce & Gabbana shades

Those headphones, those bowties

And all I can hear are your words of hope and positivity

Even when we were disappointed or angered at one or a million things

From the BU Shuttle to GPAs

The many chunes you sang

Or listening to you put mixes together

Your laugh resounds in my ear as we laughed to tears

Killing brain cells watching Foolishness on you tube,

The many conversations about our goals, dreams

To random everyday things

During the long days and sleepless nights

In the HTC or Photonics

Attending 100 Black Men Who Care About BU Meetings

You were and will remain a visionary

You will still be the truest friend many had or wish they had

You remain a lamp and beacon, showing others the way

If friendships and realness could be measured

Trotman should be the unit

Because you truly gave your all

And we are truly thankful

To think that I was coming back home this weekend

To a home that welcomed and loved me because you did

I’m smiling now, even with the tears

Because you wouldn’t want us to be sad

I hear you, “Kwakyi. No Stop that.”

Because I know the storm is over now

There’s no more pain for you to bear

I hope to be as true and good of a friend as you

To serve my Lord as dedicated and faithful as you

I hope to be a bit of an inspiration as you were to many

Your love and energy transcended all boundaries

Your drum beat engaged the souls of all walks of life
And will forever beat on through us all.

Yes, we can say you were a drum major for hope

Yes, we can say you were a drum major for love

Yes, we can say you were a drum major for peace

Yes, we can say you were a drum major for change

You helped somebody pass along

You cheered people with word and song

You showed them when they were traveling wrong

Kyle Anthony Trotman, you did not live in vain.

God keep you safely in perfect peace broski.

Till we meet again Trotman,

Love Always, Kwakyi.

The year isn't over yet and I'm mourning the loss of another brother. It feels like someone used a blunt knife to hack away a part of my innermost soul

I'm all cried out yet the tears keep falling

I'm trying to stay strong for you Trotman

In days following I'll type up memories. Another book is coming your way

Please pray for the Trotman family and us all to deal with this blow. It really seems right now to be more than we can bear.

Memories ooh memories

To think that on the 17th, when I last saw you. You told this girl we both just officially met and introduced ourselves to since we'd seen her around but never really met that we, you and I had this connection. You started talking about how I'm supposed to rip off your army dog tag we got made at the NUL Conference this summer. I guess you were trying to subtly warn me, to get ready. Of course I missed all that. Who would think such a bright future would end so soon? When we made them this summer and you told me to do this hero movie epic stuff I was like we have many years ahead of us broski and told you to do the same if God called me home before you.

God help us all

True, Real friends are hard to come by but God sent you as my angel and I am forever grateful

Trotman,

Love you broski

Always will.

Love, Kwakyi

God Lovin' & Single Livin' (with a piece for the married ones)

So here Pastor Lorraine is preaching about the Word being a source of strength from the Lord (part 2 December 11,2011 – 1st Samuel 30) when she deviates into preaching to we single ones for a decent amount of time. Note here single means unmarried - it doesn’t matter if you are dating or in a serious relationship or even engaged. Till the papers are signed and it has been blessed by God – you’re single.

She said we as single people should love on the Lord as He loves on us – unconditionally, freely giving, even when we do things to hurt him. The Lord loves us in all situations, at all times and is always there.  When you are lonely know that the Lord is with you. Those nights you just want to hold on to something hold on to the Word.

Our first desire should be for God. He should be all we need and love apart from family and friends.

When we desire the Lord and inquire of Him, He will lead us to Mr or Mrs Right in His time, when He knows you are ready.

The problem many face is they are usually in a rush and find someone who is not of the same spiritual level. Them not being of the same spiritual level means they are most often not sharing the ideals and values you uphold and live by.     

When you are unequally yoked what tends to happen? Let’s say you are at some peak during the climbing of a mountain and your friend/partner/prospective is on a level lower than yours. Is it easier to lift them up or for them to pull you down? Be real, it’ll be easier for them to bring you down as you try to meet their every desire and fulfill all their needs due to “love”.

This is why we need to seek God first. He will make it even clearer to spot the one He has prepared for you. Don’t get deceived into rushing into things you are not prepared for only to be unequally yoked. That’s extra stress, trouble and the chance to fall to temptation you’re setting yourself up for.

Till then, DO YOU! Have fun; don’t sulk because you are alone. Did you not come into this world alone? Lol. Take yourself out; pamper yourself because you are royalty. A child of the Sovereign God. You’re a King or Queen. Know what you’re worth. Don’t settle for anything substandard.  Don’t feel pressured by friends, family or society. God will prepare and bring that King or Queen into your life - one that respects you and treats you right.

It’s okay to be single she preached. Yes it’s hard when everyone around you seems to be having the time of their life with that special one/significant other/ boo thang… you know what I mean.  Trust me I know.lol. But God  loves us so much and if we love on Him, He will keep us on the right path and bring a worthy mate to us. Rejoice in this time of your life for it is when all your love should be for God and you get to search for yourself in Him! Discover his purpose and plan for your life by inquiring of Him always.

If you meet someone who you think you are interested in, PRAY! I cannot stress this enough. Your Father knows best. Ask Him for a sign to know. Even if we are confused and still pursue, He will get you out of there in time to save you from all trouble. You may get your heart broken a time or two but it’s a learning process to keep you from certain types of people. God never promised a life free of problems or pain.

If you are in a relationship yet not married do keep your commitment in mind though. Don’t be a ‘player player’ because there have been no papers signed. Remember still, that your desire should be to get to know God better.

When your mind tends to wander and more and you lose your focus on God, turn to Him and don’t fall to the temptation and lust you think is that feeling of butterflies and tingling sensations of this thing called love. ps. “Cold showers are not enough!” Pastor Lorraine

Philippians 4:6-9 says:

Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God;

And the peace of God which surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.

Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy – meditate on these things.

The things which you learned and received and heard and saw in me, these do and the peace of God will be with you!

Why worry and be desperate for love when you can pray and make your requests made know unto God. He is our Provider and will never put more on us than we can bear – yes, we have the choice to resist many temptations society and people throw in our faces all the time. We may slip at times but He is a just God to forgive us when we confess our wrongdoings. So when you are troubled and your mind is where it should not be at meditate on these things and love God, because He first loved us.

God is trying to get you to your destiny. You need to love and know Him first; don’t let anyone or anything pressure you before God’s time. Pastor Lorraine kept saying this word was for someone, that somebody needed to hear it. I definitely needed it! And many out there too which is why I put this together. Once she asked the single people to stand I stood with alacrity – not to be noticed by another single person but because I realize I need to work on my relationship with God. I need to let Him know I’m ready to love on Him. Ain’t no shame in my game!

For the married ones out there, your focus is to love and attend to your spouse then God. Don’t leave God hanging after He carefully prepared this gift or better half for you. Don’t be like the women and men who go to church all day, all night, mid week service, online, Sunday early and late morning services and other masses, Women’s fellowship, Men’s Fellowship, Outreach Ministry, Choir, Praise and Worship Team, et cetera et cetera if possible when they are seeking  their King or Queen and then suddenly vanish after saying I do!

Now as a couple in the institution God has created and blessed Himself, you should as being equally yoked, learn to love one another and love God together as one – “  Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh (Genesis 2:24)” Therefore what God has put together let no man put asunder.” (both verses in Mark 10:7-9)

Find strength in the Lord and love by inquiring of Him – first getting to know Him and love who you are in Him and what He has planned for your life. Who better to learn how to love from than our Father who loved us so much that He sent His Only Begotten Son that whomsoever believeth in Him shall not perish, but have everlasting life. (John 3:16)

For more read and check out Matthew 19, Mark 10, 1^st Corinthians 7, Ephesians 5:22-33 (the example of Christ’s marriage to the Church)

I hope this blesses you all!

Prepare The Way

So yesterday, August 7,2011 I woke up got ready and got picked up for church at First Holiness in Cambridge. 
Praise and Worship (which I learnt a few weeks ago used to be spelled as WORTHSHIP..hmm think about that) was an amazing experience. 
Pastor Lorraine's message she was delivering from God was entitled PREPARE THE WAY. The supporting scripture was from Matthew 3: 1-3 from the Amplified Bible & Luke 3:11 from the New Living Translation below:
Matthew 3:1-3
1 In those days there appeared John the Baptist, preaching in the Wilderness (Desert) in Judea
2 And saying, Repent (think differently; change your mind, regretting your sins and changing your conduct), for the kingdom of heaven is at hand
3 This is he who is mentioned by the prophet Isaiah when he said, the voice of one crying in the wilderness (shouting in the desert), Prepare the road for the Lord, make His highways straight (level, direct)


Luke 3:11
John replied, "If you have two shirts, give one to the poor. If you have food, share it with those who are hungry."


So I hope God allows me to paraphrase her properly and the notes I took to share this message with you all. 
God is coming - I'm not talking about the 2nd coming where this world will end, Judgment Day, etc. No. God wants to come in a visitation to us - either you personally, our churches, families, people, etc. In order for us to be able to acknowledge and receive Him is by preparing for Him. 


To do this there were 3 steps shared with us as follows
1. REPENT
In order to repent we need to 
*Think Differently
*Change Your Mind
*Regret Your Sins
*Change Your Conduct
Feeling sorry doesn't equate to these nor repentance. We need conviction to admit to ourselves and God that yes we have done wrong. Without that feeling of guilt or acceptance of wrongdoing, we keep doing the same things over and over again. We think saying sorry, or praying for forgiveness each time and yet going right back to commit the same sins is enough. We need to be truly remorseful and regretful and change our ways, habits, the things we do that influence us, our mind thoughts and processes.  We are not perfect but with God's help we can do away with falling back as prey to these sins.


2. MAKE READY!
Make Ready means to PREPARE : To put in proper condition or readiness. 
You know when you have a guest coming over and you get everything in shape - the house is cleaned, sheets changed, sometimes stuff purchased to make sure everything is in order. We need to MAKE READY for His visitation. We have to get our body, mind, soul and spirit in the best shape for Him. Prepare just as though it were a race, because it is a race. Hebrews 12:1 -3 (http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Hebrews%2012:1-3&version=NKJV) This preparation requires endurance so do not grow weary!


a. Don't Wait Till the Last Minute: The Lord says you cannot cram to get ready for Him because it might be too late!  We make time for so many other things in life when we have to get certain tasks done. We need to rearrange or schedules and priorities and MAKE TIME FOR GOD! Many of us are guilty , others not but we need to make the effort to prepare for God and not just do it routinely or else it becomes a task and doing things for God should not feel like a 9-5 job. Let it be sincere. 



PS This verse goes for body, soul and spirit below : 1st Corinthians 6: 12-20 
http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=1%20Corinthians%206:%2012-20&version=NKJV ) 

b. Body/Flesh: God resides in your body/temple ( 1st Corinthians 6:19 http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=1%20Corinthians%206:19&version=NKJV )
Repenting from sins and avoiding the fruit of the flesh are important. However we must also take care of our entire body, for if we are not in good shape to go out and spread the Word, how do we bring more to the Kingdom? This tied in with today's word for Our Daily Bread August 8, 2011 http://odb.org/2011/08/08/fishing-where-they-ain%E2%80%99t/ 
And even besides that, I don't think we would be glad moving into a dilapidated building with austere conditions. So, take care of your body for Christ - nutrition and fitness wise and spiritually too!


c. Soul - God preserves your soul - Psalm 121:7 (http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Psalm%20121:7&version=NKJV)
In preparation for him, we need to watch over our souls.  Our souls consist of our emotions and thoughts.  Touchy subjects I know. We must be conscious and aware of what we feed it and allow in our hearts. GIGO  - Garbage In Garbage Out. Though God loves us unconditionally (which is the greatest thing in the whole world), if we don't put the right stuff in we cannot prepare for this visitation or the 2nd coming. 'Don't let everybody touch your heart.' Screen, scrutinize, be picky if you like, with what or who you let affect your heart and guard it. Once you make the effort to make it ready God will help you preserve it!


d. Spirit - God communes with your spirit - Romans 8:14 ( http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Romans%208:14&version=NKJV ) , 1st Corinthians 2:9-12 ( http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=1%20Corinthians%202:9-12&version=NKJV )
It is the Holy Spirit that communes with our spirit.  The gift of the Holy Spirit opens us up to a whole different level and knowledge of knowing what God has freely given us. Whatever we do to our body and soul as described earlier affect our spirit and thus our relationship with God and the Holy Spirit. We are to worship Him in Spirit and Truth. Do right, get your spirit right and in communication with the Holy Spirit to prepare for God! 


3. RELEASE - Let Go, Free From confinement (Luke 3:11 - quoted in the beginning)
You've got something to give. Let it go.
There are somethings or people we are holding on to that are hindering our preparation. Some are blessings we have to release and others are loads weighing us down, causing us to sin and fall short of the glory of God and preventing us from getting ready for Christ or doing the Lord's work. 
Don't bear grudges - forgive others and free yourself. Additionally, don't be a stumbling block to someone else.
We are at times guilty of holding onto things we think are the best for us and are worried that if we were to give this up, would we get something good in return? God provides all we need and thus we shouldn't worry about giving nor should we be considering what we should get back in return. Awards and Rewards are blessings from God and they will come in His time. He cares for us and sees us through. Thus bless others with no expectations.


"What A Friend We Have In Jesus, All Our Sins and Griefs to bear, 
What a privilege to carry, Everything to God in Prayer
Oh What peace we often forfeit
Oh What needless pain we bear
All because we do not carry ,Everything to God in Prayer."


I pray that God helps us all prepare for Him

For The Longest Time

“If you said goodbye to me tonight

There would still be poetry to write

What else could I do

I was so inspired by you

I hadn’t felt that for the longest time”

Of the billions who walk the face of the earth

Your footsteps are imprinted on my mind and matter

Acquaintances are many

Family is family just because

Yet true friends are but few

And that number includes you.

“It’s how I need you

And how you needed me too

That hasn’t happened for the longest time”

You’re more than just a friend

You’re a star in my sky

And when it’s been at its darkest

You’ve shone to get me by

Made me laugh, watched me mad

Picked me up, urged me on my path

“Who knows how much further we’ll go on

I know I’ll be sorry when you’re gone

We’ll take our chances

To enjoy what real friendship is

I’ll always thank you for the longest time”

As long as the sun keeps shining

And God gives us another day to be

Through the ups and downs

Smiles and frowns

I’ll treasure our friendship

Hope to be as good of a friend as thee

And give thanks for the blessing

You’ve been to me.

“Now I know the person that you are

You’re wonderful so far

And it’s more than I hoped for

I don’t care what consequence it brings

I have been a fool for lesser things

I love you so bad

I think you ought to know that

We’ll have each other for the longest time”

Italicized part -  Slight Remix of Billy Joel 'For the longest time'  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a_XgQhMPeEQ

So over the past few months, I've really come to appreciate the real and true friends I have. Out of the billions of people I know (hahaha it's amazing how small the world is) only a few people apart from family matter dearly to my heart. even that few is considered many to others but I can't help it.

Everyone comes into your life for a reason and a season - these true friends have been, are and will be there through the coldest of winters to the driest days of harmattan. They will also be present in  the burgeoning days of spring, the warm fun-filled summer days and the bountiful days of harvest.  

Proverbs 18:24   'A man who has friends must himself be friendly, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.'

Proverbs 27:17   'As iron sharpens iron, so a man sharpens the countenance of his friend.'

1 Samuel 20 shares the beautiful story of friendship and  Jonathan's loyalty to David. 

As I posted in my last piece(after all the sadness.lol) a paragraph on friends. All these friends are a blessing but remember God is our ultimate friend and we should treasure the amazing relationship we have with him. John 15: 9-17 addresses His love and friendship with us. http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=John%2015:9-17&version=NIV 

 To toast to years of friendships which will last the longest time are the following pieces (Most are old school but that's what I jam with. 

* Dionne Warwick, Stevie Wonder, Burt Bacharach, Gladys Knight, Elton John - That's what friends are for http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EE9KT_dU_R8

* Musiq Soulchild  Love http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OIKC2ggCed4

* James Taylor & Carole King - You've got a friend http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q7RPCFfudmU&feature=related

* Bill Withers - Lean on Me http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HaVXfHZv50Y

 For our ultimate friendship with God - Be Grateful (2 versions below)

* Original by The Hawkins Family http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rUEkRp69aIU (ISGC Sang at their church in Oakland during ISGC Spring 2008 Tour in San Fransisco )

* Ledisi's version at Walter Hawkins Tribute concert last summer http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XG5McDSV8o8&feature=related

* Kojo Antwi - Oni Bi Adanfo http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z46ngB_sJ4Q&playnext=1&list=PLEF13553431D86F10 (note that's someone's video there's no official video and it's the only recording I could find)

ps I started this blog roughly about a year ago (some day in July 2010), and I want to give a special shoutout to Shelz who encouraged me to start this because today is her birthday. (http://shels-ruminations.blogspot.com NB. She is on a hiatus, but I am praying for her return for the world to enjoy!)  Thanks to all my followers for supporting and commenting.

Much Love Always, 

MysTery :)

Lost & Found

Just like the waves

You push and pull me back

The things you do

Toss me around

The things you say

Whirl around unsettled in my head

Like any load borne by water.

Like the rise and fall of the crest of the waves

Your affection rises and washes over my shores

As quickly as it ebbs and leaves me high and dry

Sometimes the current is too strong

I have no control as you send me plunging deep

From the sun kissed surface

To the mysterious, cold, murky dark depths

Where I am lost

Lost in you

Lost in thought

Lost in me

Lost in lust

Lost in ways I can’t describe

Lost, without you I might die

Lost. Simply Lost.

Just as the crests of these emotions plunges to its bottom

The trough between them brings me back from the deep

The wave cycle repeated itself for lengths of time

Yet this time,

I begin to regain my senses as I rise

The mystifying waters get clearer

The pressure lessens

And probably the feelings too

I feel the sun

It’s always good to be brought up to the light

I see it all now

The confusion and hurt settled deep down below

I fought the waves that tried to take me back

I found myself strong

I found myself moving along

I found myself far in on the shore

To be tossed and turned no more.

Well yah long story short. You know when you have those hunches and you find out ( I have too many of those. ah well)  It hurts BAD. But I expected it so, that's a load I can forget about now. You win some, you lose some. LOL. Never settle for 2nd best.

Piece inspired by friend and self.

Another friend had this quote on facebook yesterday which was so apt - "We're always looking for keys to open OLD doors, thus leaving our NEW doors shut." Very few doors have been old and new at the same time, but this one has and will always be loved so I'll be that great friend and be happy.

ps From ODB for July 5,2011 He Calls Me Friend http://odb.org/2011/07/05/he-calls-me-friend/

Someone has defined friendship as "knowing the heart of another and sharing one's heart with another. We share our hearts with those we trust, and those who care about us. We confide in our friends because we have confidence that they will use the information to help us,not harm us. They in turn confide in us for the same reason' 

Yet it seems like I got some "friends" who are two faced should I say. Time will surely tell.

So some sad love songs to accompany this piece ..aaawwwww. hahaha!

Tank   'I Can't Make You Love Me' - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NXnhWthZ_k4

Kojo Antwi   'Nfa Me Nko Ho' - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h79Wxk7A6Yg

Tamia   'Almost' - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HpmvcAE5PlE

Alicia Keys   'Love is like the Sea' - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A2ASbb8bjjQ (ps I saw her in concert February 22,2010 with another great friend. AMAZING is an understatement)

Words With Friends

I say HI as I two step across

Whilst you reply with a HELLO heading down the intersection of H street

A harmless exchange of words

A strategic means of keeping the banter going

Your ability to play with words

Keep my mind engaged

Determines how long we’ll stay playing this game

I want to put U and I next to each other in a QUIET place

Where we can end up with TIME to ourselves

If you’re lucky and play your pieces right

You could double maybe triple your score with me

Or take it slow a point at a tile

Olde words, Nu words

How-Is-This-Even-Acceptable words

Everyday words, Peculiar words

Made-Up-Tried-My-Luck-Kind of words

Remember though

Easy come, Easy Go

Instead of lose within a blink

Make sure to take each word and think

Your style of play

The tactics you employ

Increase the intensity

Prove you bold or coy

I like a challenge

Bring that A-Z game

Give me your best shot

Based on the words we exchange

And the blanks we fill in

We could hit the jackpot

There is no rush

Or telling where this could end

After all it’s a thing we do everyday

It’s simply just words with friends.

It's been a while...a LONG while... but I'm done! YAY!

BS Manufacturing Engineering - Successfully Completed. So hopefully I'll get back to a piece or two each month or maybe more

During this last semester my friends and myself (through others' games) have gotten wrapped up in the game/app or whatever you want to call it 'Words With Friends' so I decided to write a piece and dedicate it to all my WWFers! BAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

NB. When I upgrade to a droid or get the iPod Touch with all this graduation money I'm coming to take this game to another level!

Wo a wobeyie, Da yie

Disbelief. Shock. Pain. A tightness in my chest. Heartache. Confusion.
I refuse to accept
My vision is blurred
My eyes are clouded
These tears refuse to fall
I wish I could bury my sorrows and hurt so deep
Into those dimples I will never see again
I wish I could dial your number and for once
Have you actually pick up and shout BUSTAF
For me to respond BIZZAI

From the days we called out Arise and Shine
To TOK, English with JBA, ISA and HGIC Drama
There was always something special about you
Never a dull moment around you
Your smile lit us up - from mischief and genuine joy
Your call and service, We need to PUSH
Your game on the tennis and b-ball court
And your swearing too
Your smooth raps from My Boo to 'breaking into a cold sweat'
That Harlem Shake and your moves on the dance floor
Boys Boys.. Dark Knights... SO SEDUCTIVE!
Yi Yi Yi Yi Yi... SSHHHIIIIIIIIIII...!!!
Whatchu gon' do? Whatchu gon' say...?
Really, we all don't know what to do or say
It's too much to swallow or begin to fathom
It's too painful to accept or try to believe
I want someone to wake me up from this nightmare
For this heartbreaking news, I too want to be a 'Doubting Judas'
I wish I had hugged and squeezed you harder
And danced with you longer
(especially this past Thanksgiving)
Allowed you to tease and annoy me
Pull my chin and make me laugh even more
If we could buy you back, you would be here right now
If time machines existed, we would have changed history
If Drama were real, as Stage Manager I'd scream (like Aunty Grace)
AGATARATA shake yourself back to life

The memories are too many
But that makes it better
You're alive in each and everyone of us
Thanks to the times shared and spent
We will continue to PUSH
We will pull ourselves together and be strong for you
We will try to find the good in others as you would
We will smile and care for others like you
We will love as you loved and continue to do so from above

Nana Kwasi Abeyie Baffour-Awuah
Wo a wobeyie, Da yie
(You who came well, Rest well)


God gives and God takes. His ways are definitely not our ways and when certain things happen and we find ourselves asking why, we must remember that in all things, In ALL Things, we must give thanks (Pastor Lorraine started Sunday's sermon repeating that phrase so many times, I felt God was talking to me at church specifically)
During Praise and worship the tears that fell were not just because I was moved, they fell for you Nabby, they fell because I was crying out to God asking why. She also said to Thank the Lord and know that we are not in this alone. She said in 2011, some of us would go through hard times and boy was she right, because then I was torn up inside and kind of still am. After reading Luke 9: 28-36, she let us know that in the hard times we can't take everyone along but we will definitely need a Peter, James and John who we can count on to be with us through the thick and thin.
You, Nabby, were a Peter, James or John to many and I thank God for using you to impact so many lives.
I am grateful that I knew a great soul like yours and am proud to have had you as a friend and know you are watching over us all from above (with Yvonne. Don't worry her ooh. Just watch over us)

2nd Corinthians 4: 7- 18 & 5:1-8
4 v11,14&16
 For we who live are always delivered to death for Jesus' sake, that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our mortal flesh ... knowing that He who raised up the Lord Jesus will also raise us up with Jesus and will present us with you. Therefore we do not lose heart, even if our outward man is perishing, yet the inward man is being renewed day by day
5 v1, 6-8
For we know that if our earthly house, this tent is destroyed, we have a building from God, a house not made with hands, eternal in the heavens
So we are always confident, knowing that while we are at home in the body we are absent from the Lord
For we walk by faith, not by sight
We are confident, yes well pleased rather to be absent from the body, and to be present with the Lord'

May the blood of Jesus which gives us strength from day to day, soothes our doubts and calms our fear and never loses its power comfort and console us all.
You served your purpose even though we know you had so much more to offer this world. We are confident and pleased that you are in the bosom of the Lord now. We will definitely meet again.
If you were a Scout, then I hope you remember Mr Marbell singing ' Oh Cheerio, we shall meet again!'


The memories are endless. I could go on days and days sharing them
Form Morning Star I don't have too many because you were a class ahead of me but I know you and your family squad (the Baffour-Awuahs and Akollor-Mensahs) rolled deep, and your homies too. That smile and those dimples stood out from then and will forever be remembered. You used to come by MSS sometimes though even though you were at SOS JSS then.

Next time I remember speaking to you was at the interview - You, Maame, Jermo, BF and the rest of the Tema Squad making chaw noise plus your LAFA. oh I would love to hear it again. Youknowwha'I'msayin' then you entered my life again and have been a great friend and brother ever since.

*You spitting on Friday nights in the Dhall in IG1 with Bampoh, BP, Bobse, etc
*Teasing me endlessly, always on my case (like you were on everyone else, teasing and laughing at them)
*HGIC Jams - That Harlem Shake of yours and the one time you brought a flashlight and put your hand under your shirt as you always did and then put it on (some special effects kraaa)
*Class Trips - jamming on the bus, IG1 Outdoor orientation, English trip to those beaches, IB1 Outdoor Orientation, TOK Trip - Cozy Ridge (Nana Owosompa, the Jam), Chemistry trip, IB2 to Anomabo and the fun there
*ISA - that was a great summer, the Girls' Common room chilling and movie nights, You and Dosoo staying in Niger and the security guard that came and said he heard some male voices and how Helen blasted him and threatened to report him to Mrs Nkrumah, Mr Ofei and Mr Ahiable,
Watching the world cup and trying to calm you down and prevent you from breaking anything
The letters and going over to scare Yvonne that she has a letter and that the US is denying Ghanaians visas because we won.
Kenkey at Maame's house
*Medicine For Love - How JBA and Mrs Brew Appiah blasted us, Xu ordering G into the box and making you and Nana, I think, carry the box to the stage. AGATARAAAAATTAAAAA!!! Sexy juju man with a harlem shake that no one could challenge. Walking back late from practice
You were a great actor in the other school plays too!
*TOK class - more fooling plus you , nakos, pddrrrr, yvonne, sophie, helen, twumie, agyingo, hutchful, moses, timothy, chuks
*PHLEERROOO
* B-ball and Tennis Court - IG how you shouted about some video game (the morning after one games' night) in the Boys Common room and Mr Djan came to barb me, you, pichon and nana.lol
After some interhostel athletics/sports in IB2, I think you missed a layup or something, instantly you fell to the ground and rolled all over the court swearing and clutching your ankle and we were just laughing so hard - Drama King.
Playing tennis with you guys was always fun! The balls going over the fence into that gutter all the time.
*Chilling around the tuck shop (in its various location to which it has moved, around Bra Albert buying Khebab, chilling at that water fountain statue aka Joseph
*Chilling at my house with the boys, Aki and Yoyo. the sandwiches and snacks, my parents driving you boys all to drop you off at G's place. My mum's car had you, me, BF, Philip Akollor, and you telling my mother lies about going to move into the agricultural sector and start a farm with BF and more. Chale the fufu you never came back...
*Peter's house, 1st IB exeat, the kenkey, wrestling games in the pool and more.
*G's house - at least every summer there was a get together. didn't you also break a glass vase/table or something some other time too.lol
*CAS - especially Saturday CAS at the Village always making the children laugh, Drama, Aklamador (that video of ppl bedding on the bus we showed at IB1 night lol)
*December 17th - You, Dosoo and Baaba's birthday. More get togethers at Dosoo's house for cho and chillaxing.
*Mr Ofei walking in on you with your shirt open in the Girls' Common room and how another rule was created.lol
*We need to PUSH - SRC was jeh with you! those once in a while Sunday meetings lol
*Chilling at the poolside and gym in HGIC
*Pulling people's chins
*Palaver hut jams
*French orals - Un palaver hut! I can't undeerrrstaaaaanndd (Oh Monsieur Zafoe)
*Back of the library always chatting, fooling, laughing at others who got kicked out of the library, worrying Mrs Agyare, Ms Ntem, Exornam, Mr Pels,
*English A1 SL class with JBA (I want to hug and hold her so bad and tell her we are there for her), how 'mummy (mrs.)baffour-awuah' used to blast us all the time that we are wearing blue shirts for nothing or that we should take one word and think! How we used to chook each other for all sorts of things in that class. that was my best class in IB!
*chilling at the back of the dhall, watching MLB games sitting on the wall by the court, that truth or dare and story telling that stated outside the dhall and ended up inside then when Anthony was dared to kiss Mebale.
'Doubting Judas, John 10:30 and Jesus wept'.. the conversations and topics too many to discuss them all
*The story of you playing basketball under some palaver hut not in your hostel after lights out with Boys Boys and running back to your room and using the excuse that you had been stroffing with them and as soon as Mr Gyampo ran into you at your door as soon as you got there, you said were so scared that you broke into a cold sweat.
*You and your many loves.. aka My boo
*Getting annoyed at a lot of the nonsense we went through in HGIC, and the rules..ooh these Rules (we have suffered some paaaa)
*Chatting - on the phone, msn those days, in person, GH, yankee
*Facebook comments and battles, name calling and fights
*Dark Knights singing at National Day in HGIC all reading lyrics off Dosoo's Palm (I think)
*The walk to school - boys boys! Dark Knights, getting to assembly and you all sitting together, walking around the circle that night after your meeting in Limpopo - those boys were Your Peter James and John, as you were to them as well.
*Titan Kenkey party on the boys side
*6th March esp IG2 and IB2 (the gyama, the palaver hut jams and the drama)
*Illegals, boning and browning (and the rule that if 3 Dark Knights were there then it was okay)
*Browning me on my birthday in IG1 (the way I waited for you and BF with Philip. I even told Afriyie and we expected you the whole day)
*Rushing for computers in the hostel lab ( HAHAHHAHHAHA! ei we have gone through things paaa)
*That thing you used to do - placing your thumb by your nose and on your upper lip and pushing your head to the side a bit, then wink or lick your lips. HAHAHAH! You dey feel your body pass! Always giving sexy poses - Peter's house one of his last get togethers before we came to college, you came back in to Accra with me saf. I have a pic from speech day IG1 saf of you, Pichon, Akos, Yoyo and BF - you've crossed your arm and leaned back small and tilted your head up with some eyes kraaa and a look that says 'I'm the ish' lol you wish papa!!!
*College application time in the computer lab, library oh all for yankee!!!
*MUN - Lincoln, GIS, SOS
*IB1 Basketball game against Lincoln when during half time we didn't biz their cheerleaders and you were practicing free throws and layups and we were flowing you, and then they said you had to stop by force. LOL. That was one helluva game. You guys destroyed them even with all their cheating.
*Punishment from Prep in IG1
*Kenkey at BF's house with Tomefa, Nat (okay I just realize as HGIC students we chopped Kenkey a lot for hostel parties and when we gathered if it wasn't at Peter's and there was Aunty Mary's jollof)
*Trying to 'chook' Naki to her mother about Clement (Tiwtiw) you did aaaaah you brought him under the palaver hut and did some introduction.
*Shouting out 'Bottucks' with your boys when you saw certain seniors
*Your sayings - Whatchu gon' do? Whatchu gon' say .. You know how we do..SSHIIIIIIIIII....
My Boo, We need to PUSH, or answering all questions 'And Why Not?' (I'm not sure who started that thing)
Or you always screaming 'I can do eeeett' or 'Under Breessssure',
*Your names - Nabby, Gorfish , BIZZAI - B to the I to the Zigizig AI!
*The story of you boys and your massages and always browning each other or helping another out
*You always lovingly trying to play or scare the children in HGIC, I remember you worrying Abena (Mrs. Mensahs daughter) one day and then she blasted you in French in the pool, Always holding Mrs. Martei's grandkids Sena and Sedinam (or was it Sedina), to trying to scare Mr Ahiable's son, Aunty May's girls Tia and Kukie.
*How much you loved your family especially your mum JBA and all you cared for
*This past Thanksgiving - you and Dean fooling to the max, chilling with Rah, Maame, Ju, Sharmaine, Nathan, Sebe, taking a pic by force with Marian, meeting your boo Katy, just talking and catching up, fooling, dancing esp us dougie-ing. I have a few videos on my phone but the lighting was bad. It was a great time even though we got on some wrong train cause of change of service for late nights and I didn't get home till 3 am.lol. Had I known my cousins thought I had decided to sleep over I would have stayed even longer...

There are many more, so many more, but I'll stop here. (after I went and added more to the stories when I initially thought I was done more memories came. lol)
 I bet loads of people have others to share, some I have heard others I haven't. Some are stories they can share better than I can ...
You're still here in my heart and forever will be
Love, ME!
Abena aka Bustaf